Never a Dull Day's Work

Work today was...well, interesting. I started the day with an evaluation of my ability to lead an individual therapy session by myself. I absolutely hate evaluations! Yes, it is constructive criticism, but I have this inherent need to be the best at everything...literally EVERYTHING! So, needless to say when I saw that I had two areas graded in the poor category, I was not happy. My supervisor reminded me to explain the goals to the patient before starting and then to debrief with them after about it. If only I knew what the heck those goals were...we played a card game, the goal is obviously to win. (isn't that always the goal?) However, I tend to forget that Therapeutic Recreation while fun, the goals are always much more specific and functional. What I should have told my patient is that the card game was working on her fine motor skills, processing speed, appropriate social interactions, and turn taking abilities. I'm sure we learned those valuable and functional goals in class at some point, but I'm afraid I might have been texting Kristen about our crazy classmates. The rest of my morning I spent in therapy sessions, a pretty normal and slow day. One of my favorite patients in the facility did teach me how to play dominoes. I never knew how to play the original game. My Granddad only taught us Chicken Foot. Dominoes was not an easy thing for me to pick up. Once you start adding strategy to mental math, I'm lost. A brain injury patient gave me a lesson in strategy...talk about humbling. It is amazing what the brain can actually do. It is like a huge cabinet full of drawers. One drawer for long term memory, another for short term memory, separate drawers for social interactions, math, verbal language, written language, attention, impulsiveness, and a whole lot of drawers for physical things. You might lose a couple drawers after a brain injury, but the others are totally untouched. It doesn't make much sense, but it makes for a pretty interesting internship.

I have very much enjoyed my internship, but today things became very real. We had two new patients admitted into the facility and their accidents left them more mentally impaired than physically. One of the patients complimented my eye color within the first few minutes of meeting him then proceeded to ask if I was married. Any girl loves compliments, but can you really trust a brain injured person to tell you the truth? (I think not) His comments aren't anything crazy, but it has left me a little bit more worried about work. The other patients I could out run and out smart, this new patient...maybe not so much. Never a dull moment.

Also, something else that I realized today was that a couple of our patients have acquired brain injuries. These are different than traumatic brain injuries and are typically not caused by accidents. An example of an acquired brain injury might be a tumor. Although, the most common is from a Cerebrovascular Accident (CVA), or a stroke. A stroke is more than likely something that could have been prevented. Granted I'm sure there are cases that have happened to very healthy and active people. Unfortunately, that is not what I am seeing in my internship. I suppose why the CVA startled me so much today was because I realized essentially they did the damage to themselves. They can no longer talk coherently, they no longer recognize the left side of their body, and they no longer walk because of choices they made. It is scary to think about their present state being a possibility for my future. It adds a whole new dimension on wanting to eat healthy and exercise. It isn't about dropping a few pounds, but more about making sure I have a future worth looking forward to. I imagine that any of the patients would gladly give up 30 minutes of their past for a walk around the neighborhood with their spouse everyday. Their schedules probably wouldn't seem so busy anymore looking back. I have a feeling they would give anything just to be able to have the ability to walk again or have a conversation with their family. It is the little things we take for granted everyday, that they no longer get to experience. I've said it before, but this internship is giving me an entirely new perspective on life.

I cannot even begin to describe how heartbreaking it is to see patients not progressing anymore after their brain injury. It is the worst feeling in the world to look a patient's family in the eye and tell them that their loved one isn't going to ever get better. They aren't going to walk their daughters down the aisle at their wedding, they aren't going to ever be able to dress themselves independently again, and they aren't ever going to be able to remember what happened the day before. I have seen some miraculous events, but unfortunately the bleak outlooks outnumber the hopeful cases. So, I suppose what I am trying to tell you is never take your days for granted, love with everything in your heart, and establish an unshakable faith in God. It is the only way worth living...